DEL, White Saucer, Dean Roberts @ kings arms, auckland; 4 march

I arrived at about 22:00, maybe a bit after, and Lasse Marhaug (star of DEL) himself was at the door, selling vast quantities of vinyl and CDs, which I didn't have money for. Although I did make sure I had the money to purchase the limited tour 8". I paid for my entry, got my stamp and then took my vinyl back to my car, and moved my car closer to the venue, because it turned out there was parking right outside it.

I went inside and managed to find a comfy chair to sit in, which was sweet, better than I was hoping for. Some DJ, or maybe a team were playing weird music. Eventually Dean Roberts took the stage. He had an electric guitar and some effects, and played some slow, droney music with it, and sang a little, I don't know what about, but it was basically terrible, it made me think that if people will buy that kinda shit I should try making some, because it didn't look hard.

I got some water, sat back down, the DJ(s) played some more weird music, I guess they were going for that kinda art-school-found-sound-faux-noise kinda vibe. Then White Saucer came on, a two-piece consisting of a drummer and a very hairy guitarist who kept his back to the audience and all his hair over his face mainly. White Saucer were noisy, it was pretty interesting. The guitarist made layers of noise, while the drummer played in a continuous roll kinda style, tribal, not your regular 4/4 rock beat. Towards the end the drummer stopped and the guitarist used effects and a keyboard or something to create a layer of noise, before the drummer kicked back in with a rock beat to great effect.

DEL took the stage about 00:30, a drummer and a guitarist, and a guy who sat on the floor and sometimes played guitar, and Lasse Marhaug who also had a guitar but wasn't playing it in a conventional style. They billed themselves as "possibly the best drone-noise-lofi-out-rock band from the north pole", and maybe that's a good description. They were droning, as they played their guitars with bows and so on, while the drummer went between rocking beats and mellow, almost jazzy rimshot combinations. I didn't stay to see their whole set, I was too hungry and tired, but they were exactly what I expected. Check them out if they come again.

MASS CONFUSION: Squee, Anti-Kati, Creassault, Flick, Audioslut, DJ Monkey Cunt, Males Kort @ Odeon Lounge, Auckland; 7 January

I was feeling really ill, I was nervous, I was sure there was going to be a big crowd, and I was going to have to play in front of them. When I got to the venue there were already like 20 people there, easily about four times as many as I've ever played to before.

I took the stage, and the equipment was pretty shit, only one turntable, and two discmans as the CD players, one of which had no readout whatsoever and had to be kept closed with masking-tape. And the desk they were on was completely the wrong height, so I spent the whole time stooping and kinda hurt my back. So underground and hardcore. I played for about 40 minutes, at a couple of points I looked at the crowd, and the place was full, like at least 50 people. I ended with "Macarena" which was great, I'm sure someone heckled me, and everyone was happy when I turned it off.

k5k wrangled me a free beer from the bar, and I sat at a table down the front with him and his girlfriend Honor and Squee and his sister Peta, and Flick aka Matt Brennan went onstage, for his weird beat-box and guitar metal songs, including a tribute to recently slain Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrel. People got into it, he really is a top beat-boxer, you can see why he qualified for the nationals.

Next up was Audioslut, who plays that hardcore-ragga-jungle kinda stuff, and I spent most of his set outside talking to Squee and Honor. He dropped some hip-hop at some point, which I thought was kinda different to all the other times I've heard him.

Creassault spent a long time setting up, and then played a short set of old-school industrial/electro kinda stuff, really 80s and linear, not so imaginative. But I have every respect for them, I don't know how anyone can stand to be confined to 4/4 time-signatures like that.

Finally it was time for Squee, although it was almost midnight, and there were still two more acts to follow him and the bar closed at 01:00, and I was feeling tense about what k5k was going to do, seeing as he was the promoter, and other gigs he's organised people, i.e. me, have been bumped because time ran out. That's why I always play first now. The crowd was definitely starting to thin by this point.

Squee is re-inventing himself as hardcore-abstract conscious hip-hop, with some fantastic beats and melodies composed by MC slypussy. He rapped to his backing CD, about the government and conservation and stuff, and it was well-wicked. I got it all on video too, look out for bootlegs of that to surface sometime in 2005.

k5k set up for the Anti-Kati set, and spent maybe 20 minutes making noise, quite an interesting set compared to some I've seen him do, which he finished by dropping "Jem vs the Akuban", which has great samples from the Jem tape I once lent them.

Winding things up was DJ Monkeycunt, a last-minute addition to the line-up, direct from Brisbane, Australia. He played nasty fast distorted gabba beats over a variety of 80s pop music, and danced wildly to it, and waved his fists in the air and yelled "Yeah!" I've never seen anything like it, but to tell you the truth I could count the number of Australians I have met in my life on one hand. Well, it was a great ending for those who managed to stay to the end.

Quidam - Cirque de Solail, Auckland

I got some tickets to this circus for xmas, and wasn't disappointed. Easy parking, and a nice big circus tent made the atmosphere cruisy and fun. We got seated on uncomfortable little chairs (what else) that were not exactly in the best viewing position, and waited.

The clowns got things rolling, as people were still coming in, and then once the show started it was all French weirdness, like watching a cool French movie like City of Lost Children or something. The performers were very skilled and professional, the clowns genuinely funny, and the fact they use a live band was a nice touch.

The intermission was much needed, and we slunk out for an ice-cream, before coming back in for another, much briefer, dose of mad circus.

All in all, a great experience, although at about $100 a ticket, I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anyone who hasn't got rich relatives/friends who want to shout them to it.